Recap of Season 5, Episode 7
An episode five years in the making, Fredrik and Luis look to pull off the impossible: broker a successful deal together. Ryan also learns about the importance of communication, and that the Internet will never have nice things to say, no matter how much you spend on marketing materials.
Here’s where we leave our “Million Dollar Lising New York” broker bros:
Bossy Amy soon turns into Awesome Amy when Ryan agrees to include her on every single call and text he exchanges with Sherif. What’s not so awesome, however, is that his penthouse at the Jade hasn’t received a single meaningful offer, despite its new $10 million price tag. After 41 days on the market, Sherif calls Ryan and decides he wants to pull the pad altogether. Because he knows you should never “make a woman angry about the same thing twice,” Ryan conferences Amy into the call. Not even her uncharacteristically soothing tones can make Sherif change his mind, though. There goes $150,000 in commission, which would’ve apparently bankrolled Ryan’s wedding, his mortgage and his payroll.
Ryan won’t let a lost listing get him down, however, and soon he’s off the East Village to conquer 100 Avenue A, a 33-unit condo building developed by Magnum Real Estate Group’s Ben Shaoul. “They are, without fail, the biggest developer I’ve ever worked with, ever,” Ryan says. How will he sell half of this building before it even hits the market? Duh, naked airbrushed models!
He commissions Trina Merry, a bodypainting artist, to airbrush models as they stand before a mural of the facade … in their birthday suits. Ryan likes the final product so much that he has her create an extra set of ads. You know who doesn’t like it so much? Josh, the developer who hired Ryan to market the building. Despite attention from the press, Ryan can’t escape the Internet thought police, who claim the marketing is “sexist” and that the ads are equivalent to “cat-calling.” Will he become the “biggest laughing stock in the history of New York City real estate?” Stay tuned.
Fredrik and Luis
Luis is back on the buy side of brokering, this time to find a new place for Miriam and Gerard, a pair of longtime clients looking to branch out from the Upper East Side. After scoping out a $6.95 million apartment at 870 United Nations Plaza, they realize their tastes have changed with age. They want modern finishes, and if they want to go out with the old and in with the new, they’ll have to head Downtown for it. Luckily, Fredrik has all those units at 1 Great Jones Alley left to sell.
“So I hear you’re done with Uptown, it’s boring, it’s old, there’s no good restaurants, the museums are closing, it’s dusty,” Fredrik tells the pair, declaring the death of yet another New York City neighborhood. It seems to scare the living daylights out of them, however, as Luis pitches Fredrik a $9 million offer for a full-floor unit at the building. But it’s $550,000 below the asking price, and just won’t do. Following the success of Fredrik’s launch party, the developer raised the prices at 1 Great Jones Alley, and won’t accept a discount as a result.
When Luis submits an offer at Schedule A pricing, it appears the situation is going to devolve into a classic Bravo brawl (i.e. shouting, drinking throwing, over-dramatic exits). But Fredrik deploys his signature high-pitched whine into the phone, and the developer decides he can’t take it any longer–he’ll accept the $9.25 million offer, so long as it brings some momentum to the project. “I never thought I was going to do a deal with Fredrik,” Luis says.
And you’re right, Luis! Even Fredrik couldn’t scare the Upper East Side out of Miriam and Gerard, who decide to rescind their offer at 1 Great Jones Alley. After a very brief breakdown, Fredrik manages to keep his cool. He finally realizes it’s easier for him to accept that he hasn’t brokered a successful deal with Luis in five years than to dump a drink over his head.